LIFE’S A GRIND
Jack Scribe
__________________________
Chapter
11, RITES OF PASSAGE
‘What
the hell have I gotten myself into?’ Jeremy asked himself as he lay in bed
at home, exhausted. It had been a hard four weeks juggling school, sharing
duties at home, his Bally’s job and the dance rehearsals with the choreographer.
Self-doubt about being a performer simmered just below the surface no matter
how highly Garin praised his progress. The target for officially joining the
cast was still set for late February. ‘Maybe its just jitters about performing
in front of a crowd?’
Broadening
his friendship base had been an eye-opener. Zach slowly filled the male role
model void in Jeremy’s life that had existed since his uncles had passed away.
But this was an adult big brother-to-little brother bonding rather than an
avuncular one. It hadn’t been a one-way street; he tried hard to lend support
to ease the hurt Zach felt because of Gio’s infidelity and their climactic
breakup. The two trainers now worked together in a professional relationship…but
it would never again be anything other than that.
Thursday
nights continued to be a welcomed stress reliever. Charlie was always thoughtful
as well as a jokester while they shaved each other. He interspersed the grooming
with a continual flow of information that would make Jeremy’s job easier.
However, the last session ended with an undercurrent of tension. When Jeremy
asked if there was anything that he had done or said, Charlie dismissed it
as just some school pressure he was feeling. When they were finished and dressed,
the two warmly hugged each other like the teammates – very close teammates
– they were without dissipating the bothersome undercurrent.
The past weekend officially ushered Jeremy into
adulthood as he celebrated his 18th birthday: first a quiet dinner
with mom and sis on Saturday, then a more raucous outing on Sunday with Robert
at the old, reliable Benihana. The two friends had been going to the famous
teppan-yaki restaurant since they were small boys as birthday treats from
Robert’s parents. Both loved the theatrics, macho aggressiveness and drama
of the Japanese chefs cooking in front of them – skillfully slicing the ingredients,
tossing shrimp, flaming the onion volcano and making fried rice with a frantic
frenzy. Afterward, Robert gave him a more personal, physical present. Jeremy
knew this was in the spirit of their intimate male friendship; he sensed his
childhood buddy was developing some sort of deeper relationship with Sam Agosto.
In
addition to all this recent activity, June Stillman had called a couple weeks
ago and said that circulating his photos had yielded great results for an
initial, small step into modeling. He’d been chosen to be one of three guys
modeling the spring men’s fashion spread in the Trib’s Sunday magazine section.
When Jeremy expressed concern about having adequate time to be part of the
shoot, she countered with two points: while the fee for this modeling job
was a token compared to the usual scale, exposure would be beneficial for
future jobs. He was intrigued when June mentioned the Sunday Trib had an average
readership of over 2.5 million. However, when he found out the token payment
was to be $400.00, Jeremy became much more enthusiastic and decided he could
squeeze in the assignment after all.
Jeremy
agreed to give Robert a private Saturday performance of his dancing after
his first rehearsal with the complete cast of dancers. If everything went
well with final rehearsals, he would perform in all the chorus production
numbers and also do one of his featured dances on the following weekend. Performing
in front of live audiences would “get his feet – and a few other things –
wet,” as Garin had slyly put it. He also told Jeremy to keep Saturday night
open for a late night meeting after the last show to discuss his schedule.
The plan was for Jeremy to become the permanent Joe College in three weeks:
he had circled the Friday after Valentine’s Day as “B-day” for his Barecats
premiere.
The
final hurdle was to rearrange the housekeeping and care giving with his sister
so he could have Saturday nights available for work. Fridays weren’t an issue
because he had always worked that evening. Naomi said she knew that he wanted
something when Jeremy insisted on meeting at a coffee shop near Children’s
Memorial after her shift one evening.
“The
situation is very simple. I’ve got a new job that requires me being available
from 5:00 p.m. to around midnight on weekends.” Jeremy looked at his sister
and admired what an attractive woman she’d become. They had both won big in
the gene pool lottery.
“Midnight?
Whatchu doing, working in a restaurant?” Naomi asked while she absently stirred
her glass of Coke with a straw.
“Somethin’
like that. The place is very busy and I understand the tips are great.” Jeremy
decided not to tell her exactly what the new job was – at this point – if
he could help it.
“I
don’t know if I can switch shifts to daytime. I’m not that high in seniority.”
“This
new job is important to me and I think I can give an additional hundred bucks
every week for the family expenses.” Jeremy decided to go for it and play
the dollar card. “That means you won’t have to contribute as much.”
“Hon,
I’m impressed and this definitely motivates me to change my schedule. Um,
how many days a week are you going to work at this restaurant…and where is
it? Late nights can be dangerous if you’re not careful.” Naomi looked at him
with a questioning, maternal sternness.
“It’ll
usually only be three nights a week – Friday, Saturday and Sunday – to begin
with. I’m still keeping two shifts at Bally’s,” he said rapidly, feeling like
his big sister wasn’t going to let it be without a challenge. “The place is
down by the Merchandise Mart and the area is pretty safe.”
“I
don’t want to seem to pry, but how are you going to make that kind of money?
Unless I’m mistaken, you’ve never worked in a restaurant. So, are you going
to be a busboy? I mean, that’s alright…but you don’t make that much money
to start with.” Naomi gave Jeremy an authoritative ‘don’t even try to scam
your big sister’ look and waited for an explanation.
“Okay,
Sis, I’m not exactly working in a restaurant. More of… an entertainment place.”
“Yes?
Entertainment…as in a bar? That doesn’t sound like something you’d go for.”
“Not
that either.” Jeremy squirmed in his seat and started blinking rapidly.
“Mr.
Sloan…I want to know right now what you’ve got yourself into. Now.”
“I’m
going to…are you familiar with the Studz Barecats?”
“Of
course. Every woman in Chicago who still has fantasies and feelings…oh, Jeremy…are
you telling me what I think you are?” Naomi sat up, ran her fingers through
her long hair and looked at her brother with a mixture of disbelief and amazement.
“You mean that…”
“You
gotta promise what I tell you doesn’t go any further than this table. Seriously.”
“Let
me catch my breath for a minute,” she replied as she nervously brushed imaginary
crumbs from her bosom and inhaled air through her nose. After exhaling, she
continued, “I promise…cross my heart. It’s just a little bit of a shock to
find out that my little brother is going to…”
“I’m
not so little any more,” Jeremy said with a smile. ‘Not so little in several
places,’ he thought with a silent chuckle. He reached across the Formica tabletop,
took Naomi’s hand in his and squeezed gently. “Here’s the whole story.” For
the next 15 minutes he related a sanitized version of events, starting with
Garin’s recruitment dinner and ending with the rehearsals. References to private
parties and gay audiences were completely left for a future discussion. Along
the way he threw in a mention of potential modeling gigs that might come from
the upcoming Tribune fashion spread.
“Jeremy
Sloan, you completely amaze me. You’ve never complained about our responsibilities
at home, people genuinely like you, your grades from school are always outstanding
– good enough for a university scholarship – and you couldn’t be a nicer brother
or friend. Now I find out you’re this handsome stud who’s going to shake his
booty with the Studz Barecats and model on the side. That’s quite a list of
achievements for anyone...especially an 18 year old guy still in high school.”
“So
you’re not P.O.’d at me for doing this? I had planned on telling you when
I was sure it was all working out. The rehearsals have worked out well and
I’m going to be part of the cast very soon.”
“As
long as you’re not on the Internet doing porn stuff.”
“Absolutely
not. That’s part of the agreement when I signed up and I wouldn’t do something
like that, anyway. The guy who runs it is on the level and very sharp. He’ll
fire anyone who gets involved in porn.”
“Then
dance your heart out…and whatever else you do on stage. I think that being
a Barecat is kinda hot.”
“Phew, I feel relieved you’re okay with this.
But I’m not going to tell Mom,” Jeremy said, shaking his head. “She wouldn’t
buy it at all.”
“Probably
a good idea. And the way she lives in a bubble, I don’t think Mom would ever
hear about your…entertaining. However, I, on the other hand would have found
out even if you hadn’t said anything.”
“How,
so?”
“Because
one of the women at the hospital is getting married in May. And guess where
we’re having the bachelorette party,” Naomi said with a superior smirk.
“You…they…”
Jeremy’s mouth gaped as he processed the idea of performing before his sister
and her friends. “Jeez, this is something I hadn’t thought of.” All of a sudden
an image of Naomi slipping a ten-dollar bill into his thong mentally slapped
him in the face.
“Don’t
worry…I’m cool with it. I just think it’s rather cute that you’ll be stripping
before our group.”
“Well,
stripping down to a thong. It’s just a little more revealing than a swimmer’s
Speedo,” he replied.
“Honey,
a swimmer isn’t bumping and grinding. Just think of it as something I’ve seen
lots of times,” Naomi said with a laugh.
“Maybe
when I was a little twerp…that was a long time ago. Like you, there have been
several changes with my body.” Jeremy purposely looked down at Naomi’s well-formed
breasts for a moment and continued, “But if you’re okay with what I’m doing,
then I’m relieved.” He grabbed his untouched Coke and took a large gulp before
adding, “I guess I’d better tell you that you’re going to recognize someone
else in the cast.”
“Really?”
Naomi cocked her head to the left, raised an eyebrow and batted her hanging
long hair behind her.
“Think
back to 10th grade and a guy in your class. You remember Char…um,
Chuck Barnett?”
“Chuck?
My God, I dated him. You’re telling me that he’s part of the Barecats?”
“Chuck
is now Charlie and he was assigned to be my buddy…someone I can turn to for
help. He’s a sophomore at Northwestern and we’ve become good friends. Charlie’s
the same nice guy he was four years ago,” Jeremy said with a warm smile.
“Hmmm,
I was always curious what was under those jeans. We never, you know, did it,”
she said with a chuckle. “I’d say the same thing about being curious about
you but that would really be a little creepy.”
“Just
an adult version of what you used to see all the time,” Jeremy replied with
a smirk.
“Ewww…too
much information, Mr. Sloan.”
“Sounds
like you’re going to get your eyes full in a couple of months. Do me a favor,
Sis. If no one in your party knows me, how about just keeping our relationship
quiet.”
“I
see your point. That might fall under ‘too much information’ for the girls
at work. Let’s shake on that.” This time it was Naomi who extended a hand.
“I think I can change shifts for you.”
The
rest of the week was rather normal. The main event on Saturday was the first
rehearsal with Jeremy and the complete cast. When he arrived just before 10:00
a.m., most of the dancers were standing around the stage in a few small groups
while Garin was talking to one of the technicians. Jeremy spotted Charlie
and naturally gravitated to his official buddy. For the next 10 minutes, Charlie
re-introduced Jeremy to everyone giving a quick bio of each man. These included
four students at various Chicago universities, a junior bank supervisor, an
accountant and an honest-to-God construction worker. All the dancers had changed
into workout clothes – a variety of tees or tank tops, gym shorts and white
socks. After speaking briefly to each of the guys, Jeremy excused himself
for a quick change.
Due
to the intense one-on-one rehearsals and Jeremy’s natural athletic talent,
all the pieces came together without flaws. The cast embraced their newest
teammate as the precision chorus numbers took form. In addition to the traditional
line dance routine, there were some fairly complex integrated steps, leaps,
spins, flips, whirls and movements around the stage. By noontime, Garin pronounced
the chorus rehearsal a success, thanked everyone and added one final surprise
by asking Jeremy to perform his first act solo dance in front of the cast: a dress rehearsal with lights and sound. In
spite of his weak protests – the guys whooped it up and encouraged their newbie
into action – Jeremy followed Charlie to the dressing room to change into
his Joe College costume.
“You
knew about this, didn’t you?” Jeremy pulled off his practice tank top.
“Let’s
just say that this is part of your final initiation into the group and I told
Garin that you were ready.” Charlie smiled as he took the Joe College costume
from a rack and laid out the various pieces on the counter top.
“Guess
I might as well suck it up and do it, then. Christ, I’m nervous…dancing in
front of the guys.” He pulled off his briefs and kicked them aside. Jeremy
reached for his practice thong when Charlie stopped him.
“Just
a sec. Here’s your new thong.” Charlie pulled out a bright, red thong out
of a bag and added, “This will certainly add a little spice to your part of
the program.” He handed it to Jeremy and stood back to watch Jeremy arrange
his package for comfort.
“Wh…what
is this fabric? My God, it’s like see-through nylon,” Jeremy blurted out when
he saw himself in the mirror. “This is what I’m to wear when I do this for
real? I could count the number of pubes with no difficulty.” He looked at
Charlie in exasperation.
“Just
a tradition, ole buddy. For today’s performance only in front of the team.
In fact, I wore this thong last year…and you’ll pass it on to your buddy next
year.”
“I
can tell it was yours…the thing’s been really stretched and it feels kinda
crusty,” Jeremy replied. He swung his hips around and popped his crotch at
Charlie.
“Whoa,
that’s enough to get you arrested…or a twenty-buck tip from some horny lady.
And I’ll have you know that it’s been cleaned just for you.” Charlie lightly
slapped Jeremy’s shoulder and said, “Let me help you get your costume on.
As they say, ‘It’s Showtime’.”
The
layers of clothing were quickly assembled and Jeremy stepped into the mock
saddle shoes. They returned to the back stage that was dark except for a few
nightlights.
“I’m
going to join the others in the club. Break a leg…not literally.” Charlie
gave him a quick peck on the cheek and disappeared.
Jeremy
stood next to the wing curtain and wasn’t quite sure how to proceed. Suddenly
there was a drum roll that boomed out of the speakers.
“Ladies
and…well, make that, gentlemen. The Studz Barecats proudly presents the newest
member to our cast of dancers. Please give Jer a rousing welcome in his debut
as Joe College,” Garin’s voice boomed through the club.
The
introduction with his childhood name, ‘Jer’, startled him for a moment. However,
on reflection, Jeremy felt good that it was used. ‘Kinda like a re-birth and
an official step into adulthood,’ he thought.
The
recorded music for his initial eight-minute routine started and a spotlight
flashed in front of the curtain where Jeremy was standing. Although there
were only a handful of men in the audience, their enthusiastic applause made
it seem like the house was full – in Jeremy’s mind. The adrenalin was pumping
– and perhaps some testosterone – as he took a deep breath and waited for
the music cue. The University of Illinois’ official song, “We’re Loyal to
You, Illinois”, with full marching band accompaniment, started and he stepped
onto the stage and began his routine. When he heard whistles and a few ‘woofs’
from the darkened theater, he looked at the audience and turned on a practiced
look of exaggerated surprise. He winked when the guys started yelling, “Go,
Jer…go, Jer…Jer…Jer…Jer.” The marching band music faded as the same Illinois
loyalty song transitioned, in the same beat, to a stage band ensemble sound
with a pronounced drum and bass guitar rhythm.
He
pulled the pencil from his ear and started writing in a book as the music
score changed to ‘On, Wisconsin’. The book and pencil were tossed aside as
well as the cap as Jeremy’s dance became more provocative. For the next several
moments, more pieces of his costume came off as the music score moved from
one Big Ten school fight-song to another. By the time the arrangement had
swung into “Go U Northwestern”, Jeremy was standing with his legs spread out
at the foot of the runway and his hips were keeping beat to the drum-throbbing
music. He could now see the faces of his audience – his teammates – and their
obvious approval through nods, thumbs up and big smiles were a reward for
the past month and a half of hard work. A charge of adrenalin ran through
his body while he made sure his package was bouncing a little more energetically
than in rehearsal. The guys cheered more. ‘This is it,’ he told himself as
he turned around, shook his buns and briefly bent down at his waist. ‘This
is what they mean by a performer getting that extra energy from the audience.’
There was a tingling in his crotch and he breathed a little faster when he
faced the club again. The music came to a thunderous conclusion and the stage
was abruptly darkened.
As
he had practiced, but never executed in darkness, Jeremy found the tracer
lights on the side that led to the wing of the curtain. He counted a steady
five, waited for the light cue to pop back on, and walked back to the front
center-stage for a bow. His teammates and new friends were hooting it up.
As KC and the Sunshine Band’s “Shake Your Booty” filtered through the speakers,
Jeremy slowly started a dance that would bring him down the runway and to
the audience. The first guy with a fistful of dollars – Monopoly currency
– was Will Jacobs, the banker dude who played the policeman character. He
was rocking to the music and gestured for Jeremy to come his way and receive
a lowly, solitary bill. Jeremy decided to follow protocol and dipped low so
that his thong from the side could be reached with the phony bills. Jeremy
felt the paper slip into the waist as he rose. However, Will beckoned him
with the flash of more bills in higher denominations. Jeremy got the message
and dipped again…led by his groin. Will grinned, stuffed in a few bills and
not so innocently brushed the tip of Jeremy’s encased cock with his thumb
as he withdrew.
‘Whoa,’
Jeremy thought, ‘that’s a little more than just being friendly.’ However,
he played along with the ruse: he looked directly at Will as he winked, licked
his lips and used his thumb to lower the thong a little lower so that the
top of his trimmed pubes showed. The impromptu moves were validated when the
audience whooped it up with encouraging yells and whistles.
It
only took two more rendezvous with fake tip money for Jeremy to figure out
what the guys were up to: not only giving him practice with the non-choreographed
part of his performance, but purposely trying – successfully – to get his
dick aroused. He just laughed and decided that the straight guys were having
what would be considered ‘locker room’ fun and the gay guys were enjoying
a little eroticism. As he danced further up the runway, Jeremy accepted the
spirit of the evening and enjoyed his initiation experience.
When
the KC music shifted into “That’s the Way I Like It”, he turned for a second
to adjust his erection in the skimpy thong. He angled it upwards but the apparel
design was barely large enough to cover him without spilling out. Jeremy decided
to throw caution to the wind and finish his initiation, however revealing.
‘Might as well give the boys a good show,’ Jeremy thought as he turned around,
faced the audience again and danced down to the end of the runway. He was
also proud that his expanding package would probably be envied by a few of
the guys.
But
when he arrived in front of Charlie at the end of the runway, it was no longer
possible to keep his equipment in check. Not only had the cockhead eased out
from under the elastic and material, but it was oozing natural lubricant –
not a sloppy gusher, but the drool was obvious. The guys were laughing and
applauding when Jeremy moved into the center of the runway and waved to the
soundman to kill the song. He stood, raised both arms and took a long, low
bow. The cheers erupted to an even higher decibel. Someone tossed him a pair
of boxers and he quickly put them on.
“Guys,
I guess this is my baptism,” Jeremy said, after the crowd quieted. “And I
certainly don’t have any secrets, now.”
“No
secrets from your side, big guy,” someone yelled. The unscripted shout caused
the guys to erupt with approval.
“Not
exactly. But the rest I’ll save for privacy. Seriously, I really didn’t expect
anything like this. You guys are really bad,” Jeremy said with a grin before
he stuck out his tongue.
“Wow,
two wet projections in one day.”
Jeremy
turned to the direction of the comment and replied, “The third one you don’t
want to know about.” He playfully sucked on his middle finger, smiled and
bowed with a flourish.
“Whaduya
think, guys. Has our newbie passed inspection?” Garin asked as he walked down
the runway.
“Yeah”,
“Effin’ A”, “Go, Jer”, and other shout outs were heard as Garin grabbed Jeremy
around the waist and squeezed him tightly. Jeremy turned and melted into the
offered hug.
“You
didn’t disappoint or surprise me, Jer. I hope you don’t mind that we regenerated
your old nickname?” Garin asked as he spoke into Jeremy’s ear.
“Jer
is a name I never got tired of…maybe it’s time to officially take it back.”
Jeremy pulled back a bit, smiled and squeezed Garin’s forearm. “With this
job and college coming up, Jer sounds just fine.”
“And
thanks for taking this whole initiation thing so well. Everyone, including
me, went through it. Next year, or whenever a new guy comes into our family,
you’ll be part of the audience.” The crowd started to quiet and Garin put
up his hands to indicate he had something to say. “I take it everyone votes
‘yes’ on our newest member of the cast?”
Again,
the guys responded enthusiastically.
“Hearing
no objections, I adjourn this meeting until later. We will reconvene for a
celebration at Bijan’s Bistro on North State at midnight. Guys, get a little
rest time. It’ll be a busy night.”
One
by one, each teammate came up to the stage and personally congratulated Jeremy
– or, Jer, as he was now known and accepted. Although Jeremy had gotten his
libido under control, he had to work hard to stop emotions from taking over.
Seldom had he encountered such an overwhelming feeling of acceptance or belonging.
Maybe it was the combination of not having a father and the loss of
his uncles that allowed his emotions to be shanghaied by the day’s events.
He
said ‘goodbye’ until the last man left before he collected all the parts of
his costume that were still strewn about the stage. Jeremy grabbed his street
clothes and headed back to the dressing room. Off came the boxers and the
slightly stained red thong. He put them in the backpack for cleaning on laundry
day. After the costume parts were carefully arranged on the hanger and then
slipped into a garment bag, Jeremy left the room and turned off the lights.
‘Next stop, Robert’s house,’ he thought as he hit the crash bar of the stage
door exit. He figured that the costume had one more ‘show’ in it before he
cleaned it for the paying customers next weekend.
One
El train ride and a six-block hike later, Jeremy was at Robert Stein’s front
door. He smiled when his first real friend opened the door.
“I
hope you got something in the fridge, cuz I’m starved,” Jeremy blurted out
as he entered the house. Chicago’s 30-degree temperature had been negatively
enhanced by a wicked wind. “I brought the costume with me, you letch, for
the personal performance.”
“Letch,
my ass. That’s well under control.”
“Ah,
ain’t love grand, or sumpin like that as long as its spelled S.A.M.,” Jeremy
said with a snicker.
“Hey,
keep Sam out of this. We’re just friends who…like each other a lot,” Robert
replied coyly.
“Okay,
no prying about your love life with Sam. Now, where’s the food?” Jeremy decided
to drop the joking around about Robert’s relationship. He knew it was simmering…but
to what degree?
“The
Stein restaurant is at your disposal. You can have a fantastic vegetable soup
Mom made a couple of nights ago and the last of a tuna fish salad.” Robert
took Jeremy’s coat and hung it up in the hallway.
“Yum.
Talk about working for my dinner,” Jeremy replied as he followed Robert to
the kitchen.
“How’d
rehearsals go?” Robert innocently asked while he raided the refrigerator.
“So,
so. I got a chance to work with the entire cast and didn’t get any complaints.”
Jeremy smiled at the experiences earlier that he would not share with Robert…at
least for a while.
Robert
proceeded to nuke the soup and prepare a tuna salad sandwich on whole wheat
bread. While Jeremy wolfed down the late lunch, Robert ate a cup of yogurt.
“What
are ya up to this evening?” Robert asked.
“Nuthin’,
really. I’m going to help with Mom’s dinner and then hang out with the guys
from the show for a late dinner. Kind of a ‘get to know each other’ evening.
How about you?”
“Sam
and I are going to go to see the Bulls and the Lakers. Then…well, you know.”
Robert smiled and ate more of his yogurt. “What’s with you and Tommy?”
“Friendship
and sex, not necessarily in that order. I think there was a mild infatuation
on his side at the beginning. Now, it’s just convenient to…”
“Fuck
with no complications,” Robert replied.
“And
he’s going back East for school. Like you, I want someone who’s going to be
in Chicago most of the year. Hey, let’s finish up and I’ll do the routine
for you. I’ve got the music on a CD.”
“Cool.
You get into that costume, I’ll clean up and we’ll meet in the living room.”
“Your
sure the ’rents won’t be coming home early?” Jeremy took his dirty dishes
to the dishwasher and put them inside.
“No.
They’re at a matinee for some pre-Broadway musical at the Oriental Theater
and are planning on having an early dinner somewhere down in the Loop.”
“See
you in the living room so you can officially meet the Studz Barecats’ new
Joe College.”
Jeremy
walked to the living room to change into the costume and set up the music.
He thought about the continuing changes in his life that he hadn’t considered
possible just a few months ago. Being witness to relationships like Zach and
Gio crash and burn while his old buddy Robert had found a fledgling romance
with Sam was at opposite poles of his emotions. He wondered if he would find
a boyfriend as he moved on in his life. Someone solid like his honorary brother
and his best friend who would accept him unconditionally.
____________________
TO BE CONTINUED